Keys to a Successful Marriage

From a Renowned Marriage Counselor

Who is our renowned marriage counselor? The very one who instituted the marriage relationship—God. Let’s look at His formula for success.

Y       When you decide to get married, make sure you leave father and mother and cleave to your spouse (Genesis 2:18-24).

-        Don’t go running back to your parents every time there is a problem. Work it out between the two of you.

Y       Cleave to each other “until death do us part” (Matthew 19:3-12; 1 Corinthians 7:39; Malachi 2:13-16).

-        Divorce is sinful unless it is for the cause of fornication (sexual immorality). So, unless fornication has occurred, don’t even think about getting a divorce. You’re much more likely to work out your problems when you dismiss divorce as an option.

-        Remember what you “vowed” to do—with God as your witness!

Y       Husbands, nourish and cherish your wives; love them as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25-29, 33).

-        Supply ALL her needs, just as Christ supplies all the needs of the church (Philippians 4:19).

-        Don’t let headship go to your head. Jesus said, “My yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28).  Follow His example—don’t put more on your wife than she can bear.

Y       Wives, love your husbands (Titus 2:4-5; Proverbs 31:12; 1 Corinthians 13:4-7); respect them (Ephesians 5:33) and obey them (Titus 2:4-5; Ephesians 5:22-24).

-        Remember, love is a verb (an action word). It’s not just a feeling; it’s what you do—even if you’re getting very little in return.

Y       Look out for each other’s needs and interests as well as your own (Philippians 2:3-5).

-        Don’t go into marriage thinking only about what you can get out of it. Think about what you can put into it. Constantly ask the question, “what more can I do for my spouse?”

Y       Do not let the sun go down on your wrath (Ephesians 4:26-27).

-        If you get mad, don’t stay mad. Get it resolved before too much damage is done. Replace bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking with kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness (Ephesians 4:31-32).

Y       Do not ever try to “get back” at your spouse (Romans 12:17-21).

-        If your spouse wrongs you in some way, do not wrong them in return. That is not the answer. The above passage is clear: “overcome evil with good.”

Y       Do not lie to one another, or deceive one another in any way (Ephesians 4:25; Colossians 3:9; Proverbs 31:11).

-        If you do, make sure you heed the next point.

Y       Confess your faults to one another (James 5:16, read Matthew 5:23-24, replacing “brother” with “spouse”).

-        If you’re too proud to admit your faults, then you’re too proud—period!

Y       When apologies are made, be sure to forgive (Matthew 18:21-22, 35, again replacing “brother” with “spouse”).

-        Don’t treat some offenses as unforgivable. We would all be in trouble if the Lord did that.

Y       Praise, compliment, and encourage each other (Proverbs 31:28-31).

-        Husbands, don’t say, “She knows how I feel. I don’t have to say anything.” Go ahead and say it. Tell her how you feel. Tell her what you appreciate about her.

Y       Husbands and wives, remember that your bodies belong to each other. Satisfy each other’s desires, so that neither one is tempted to look elsewhere (1 Corinthians 7:3-5; Proverbs 5:15-20).

-        Keep this in mind, though—adultery is never justified—even if your spouse deprives you.

Y       Do not flirt with another man or woman (1 Corinthians 6:18; Romans 13:14; Proverbs 7:21-27).

-        Learn also to recognize tempting or compromising situations, and stay as far away from them as possible. You may not plan to have an affair, but if you become careless, it may happen sooner than you think.

-        Develop the same conviction Joseph had: “How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?” (Genesis 39:9).

Y       Learn to be content (Philippians 4:11-12; 1 Timothy 6:6-8; Matthew 6:31-33).

-        “Count your many blessings; name them one by one…and it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.” You may have more than you realize, especially if you count the things that matter the most.

-        Give some thought to this pearl of wisdom from the book of Ecclesiastes: “Better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of desire” (6:9).

 

 

Compiled by Bryan Gibson.